)spunky4u's Recent Statuses
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Thu, 2-May-24 10:57 AM (7 days ago)
What's the difference between a fridge and a butt hole? ...The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out. 
Wed, 1-May-24 11:14 AM (8 days ago)
What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up the family tree and a gynecologist looks up the family bush😘
Tue, 30-Apr-24 10:53 AM (9 days ago)
My wife is like a bottle of ketchup, she is sweet, she is delicious to eat and sometimes you need to turn her upside down and bang her on the kitchen counter.🤪
"Finally it has happened to me right in front of my face"
(9 days ago)
SexyEnglishBabe likes this
I wonder if you was more hungry, for a HotDog then your wife
Mon, 29-Apr-24 10:57 AM (10 days ago)
Adam & Eve: The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions! 
Sun, 28-Apr-24 10:52 AM (11 days ago)
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes!...She hugged me.😂
Sat, 27-Apr-24 11:08 AM (12 days ago)
I try to be a good person but then someone pulls out in front of me and goes 10 below the speed limit and I gotta try again tomorrow.😡
Wed, 24-Apr-24 10:49 AM (15 days ago)
The funny thing about getting older is that your eyesight starts gets weaker but your ability to see through people's BS gets much better!
Tue, 23-Apr-24 10:54 AM (16 days ago)
If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don't open it! It's spam.
Mon, 22-Apr-24 10:58 AM (17 days ago)
waiter: How do you like your steak cooked? Me: Like winning an argument with my wife. Waiter: Rare it is!🤪
A cowboy asked his friend for help rounding up 18 cows. His friend said “That’s 20.”
(17 days ago)
Sun, 21-Apr-24 11:53 AM (18 days ago)
Every morning I take my cow on a long walk through the local vineyard, that's right I herd it through the grapevine.
Sat, 20-Apr-24 11:01 AM (19 days ago)
I pointed at two old drunks sitting across the bars from us and said to my friend "that's us in 10 years" he said "that's a mirror dipshit."
Fri, 19-Apr-24 10:29 AM (20 days ago)
I accidentally pass my wife a glue stick instead of her chapstick, she's still not talking to me.🤪
If I were you, spunky, I'd find alternative living arrangements.
(19 days ago)
Thu, 18-Apr-24 11:15 AM (21 days ago)
Breaking news: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 toy horses inserted in his ass. Doctors have described his condition as stable! 
Wed, 17-Apr-24 11:17 AM (22 days ago)
I once bought a dog from a blacksmith. When I got him home he made a bolt for the door!
Tue, 16-Apr-24 11:02 AM (23 days ago)
I didn't mean to push all your buttons....just your mute button!
Mon, 15-Apr-24 10:18 AM (24 days ago)
I named my toilet "Jim" in stead of "John" Everyone is so impressed when I tell them I go to the Jim at least once a day!
Sun, 14-Apr-24 10:28 AM (25 days ago)
If you don't drink, how will your friends know you love them at 2 am?😛
"Tomorrow i will be sober, but you will still be [insert one or more] ugly. old. bitch. maggot. moron. twot. stupid. " ~ Wodja 2020 
(24 days ago)
Sat, 13-Apr-24 10:10 AM (26 days ago)
My neighbor suggested I put cow manure on my strawberries. Tired it, I'm going back to whipped cream.🤢
Fri, 12-Apr-24 10:36 AM (27 days ago)
I tried to remarry my ex-wife but she figured out I was only after my money. 
Thu, 11-Apr-24 11:26 AM (28 days ago)
My wife told me her password is: MickeyMinnieGoffyDonaldPlotoHueyLouieDeweyDublin...because sheh was told her password had to contain 8 characters and at least one Capital.
Wed, 10-Apr-24 10:20 AM (29 days ago)
The inventor of autocorrect died, the funnel will be held tomato.
Tue, 9-Apr-24 10:54 AM (30 days ago)
Wife: "I'm going to donate all my old clothes to starving people" Husband: "If they're starving they won't fit into your clothes" ...funeral on Friday.
