)Relaxer's Recent Statuses
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Thu, 9-May-24 9:38 AM (7 hours ago)
One (made up) word combines two of my favourite things - choclit 😁
WendySilvia likes this
I just love dicks. If that's a crime, I plead guilty too. 
(1 day ago)
oh forgot the 
emoji [if it a cow, would it be a emooji? no?]
emoji [if it a cow, would it be a emooji? no?]
(1 day ago)
WendySilvia likes this
I just love making banana bread. If that's a crime,lock me up.
😆
😆
(1 day ago)
WendySilvia likes this
Sat, 4-May-24 12:59 PM (5 days ago)
How was the sacked altar boy meant to know what the bishop meant when he said he could kiss his ring.
Mentor___01 likes this
Wed, 1-May-24 3:54 PM (8 days ago)
Gary was devastated when his fiancée broke it off. Even more so when the surgeon said he couldn't sew it back on ☺️
Lorena Bobbitt still getting around then?
(7 days ago)
blast from the past name right there, Royal..
(7 days ago)
Wed, 17-Apr-24 1:58 PM (22 days ago)
Cumming - the only type of decorating she is happy for you to put off till later 😜
Wed, 17-Apr-24 5:04 AM (22 days ago)
If you are edging, when does masturbation become procrastination?
Sun, 14-Apr-24 3:04 PM (25 days ago)
Feeling like travelling, eating and drinking so Red Bull Square, The Leaning Tower of Pizza and Uncle Big Ben
smitten4u likes this
Sat, 13-Apr-24 12:56 PM (26 days ago)
Why was the Parisienne man thought crazy? Because he was inseine
Tue, 9-Apr-24 1:03 PM (30 days ago)
Apparently the original Rapunzel story was in a collection called Lo Cunto de li Cunti.
McPhallus likes this
Mon, 8-Apr-24 9:20 PM (30 days ago)
The room that was bathed in bright sunlight shifts down a shade; darker tones shift across your eyes as you look down the bed; now it's definitely moving towards twilight; finally there is complete da
Mon, 8-Apr-24 3:22 PM (31 days ago)
Where is the best place in town for grandiose ideas? In the flat above the station. ☺️
Sun, 7-Apr-24 11:40 AM (32 days ago)
Anyone else at all concerned that electric cars are so quiet they are hard to hear approaching?
Rick12111 likes this
Yeah, they are way to quiet for my liking. I don't think I'll ever buy one! Lets not get into how un environmentally friendly they are when they are built! 🤔😡
(32 days ago)
I'm always looking when I'm out amongst cars, so I see them. I hear them as well. they just aren't as loud as a stock or 'hey everyone hear my loud exhaust ' trucks and cars.
(32 days ago)
bimarriedbottom likes this
It's ok. You can easily see them when they catch fire
(32 days ago)
Fri, 5-Apr-24 8:56 PM (33 days ago)
The guy was so off the wall he made Humpty Dumpty look normal.
Fri, 29-Mar-24 2:18 PM (41 days ago)
I dropped my toddler off at the nursery. When I picked him up later they gave me a bill for 6 damaged plants 🙄
smitten4u likes this
Thu, 28-Mar-24 1:36 PM (42 days ago)
If you don't use or like email does that mean you are e. stranged?
Sun, 24-Mar-24 9:25 AM (46 days ago)
The guy had no close friends. He had the bonding skills of a piece of used sellotape😊
Sat, 23-Mar-24 12:10 AM (47 days ago)
Cyclists are not colour blind. They just don't see red at traffic lights.
When stuck in a traffic jam, pay repects to the wisdom of The Cyclists that wizz past you 
(47 days ago)
theroyalcouple likes this
cared"
How nice it is to hear that I'm a cunt. Especially when I exhibit none of these indiscretions. Still less than human.
(47 days ago)
anonymouspisces likes this
Thu, 21-Mar-24 2:08 PM (49 days ago)
For Sale. Various mirrors. Apply C. Dracula Transylvania 666
Mon, 18-Mar-24 5:07 PM (51 days ago)
Sometimes I wonder if the only reason a woman would want to sit on my face is so they don't have to look at it 😁
I get it... sit on face so you can get tounge in a cheek... clever. 
(51 days ago)
heydidyagrabmyass likes this
Sat, 16-Mar-24 5:24 AM (54 days ago)
My friend has a 12 inch cock, but he doesn't use it as a rule
Fri, 15-Mar-24 9:08 PM (54 days ago)
I think it's St Patrick's Day tomorrow. I just came on here to be sure. 😁
