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Thursday, May 16, 2024, 6:40:22 PM- Theory | ||||
I have a theory for why you forget what is was you were going to do when you walked into another room. You surprised an alien, who then wiped your memory so that it could escape. ~ | ||||
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Wednesday, May 15, 2024, 6:41:39 PM- Good times | ||
I played golf yesterday and shot a 93. Maybe next time I'll play more than one hole. ~ | ||
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Tuesday, May 14, 2024, 6:02:45 PM- Better living through science | ||
Every four years I truly appreciate the fast forward button on my t.v. remote control. I call it 'Politics Begone'. ~ | ||
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Monday, May 13, 2024, 7:08:27 PM- Lost dreams | ||
1. Someone kept telling me I was 48 grams short. Short of what??? 2. I'm making a couple of big ham & cheese sandwiches. I have everything I need - thick slices of ham, french bread, mustard and mayo, swiss cheese, tomatoes, but I'm out of lettuce! Double bummer, man. ~ | ||
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Sunday, May 12, 2024, 5:30:32 PM- (sighs) | ||
There's nothing quite like that feeling you get when you crave a bologna sandwich (with mustard) a moon pie and a glass bottle of Coca Cola, then realize you don't have them on hand... because you gave them up for your health long ago. ~ | ||
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Saturday, May 11, 2024, 6:37:29 PM- Shame, shame, shame | ||
The second Saturday in May is when the USPS takes donations for the needy. They leave an empty bag in your mailbox in case you want to give non perishable foods. I filled the bag on Friday evening and hung it on my mailbox. Saturday morning I looked out my window and saw that it was gone. I at least hope the person who took it needed the food. | ||
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Friday, May 10, 2024, 6:21:25 PM- Class time | ||
The teacher asked her young students: "What does the chicken give us?" "Meat!" said one student. "Very good!" the teacher replied. The teacher next asked: "What does the pig give us?" "Bacon!" said another child. "And what does the big fat cow give us?" the teacher asked. "Homework!" said a bored student in the back of the room. ~ | ||
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Thursday, May 9, 2024, 7:21:52 PM- A course of action | ||
I suggest a course of action for those having to deal with someone who is ranting, usually about politics or religion: Walk away. You wouldn't want to be blamed as the cause of their heart attack or stroke - would you? ~ | ||
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Wednesday, May 8, 2024, 7:08:56 PM- Geeze Louise | ||
I was trying to get my morning walk in today a little early, because the weather forecast was for rain at my usual time. A little bit cooler than what I'm used to, but still sunny. Up ahead I saw an area growing dark, so I looked up at the sky and saw a huge dark cloud passing in front of the sun. Then I looked ahead of me and saw a small dust devil rising up from the park. It grew to about 10 to 12 feet high, full of leaves, dirt and new mowed grass. Amazed, I kept walking towards it - but at a much slower pace. After about 10 to 15 seconds it just kind of fell apart, just as the sun broke through. Was it a sign? or just a freak of nature? I chose the latter and continued on my walk. I'm no Moses, just an old geezer in awe of what nature can do on a whim. ~ | ||
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Tuesday, May 7, 2024, 6:49:50 PM- Curves | ||
I've always loved baseball. I played from the time I was 6 until I was 19. I gave up playing because I had trouble hitting a curveball. Many years later, I'm still swinging, because no matter who you are, life keeps throwing you curveballs - usually when things are going good and you feel like you're on top of the world. So make sure you're on your guard - you never know when one will be heading your way. ~ | ||
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